On Sapience

“Perhaps sapience is this-the understanding, beyond lip service, that there is such a thing as long term consequences. That by our short-term decisions, we create our long term consequences. But, without the short term decisions made by others and ourselves, there cannot be long term consequences.

“That may be the greatest…sin of alicorns. We are the long term consequences of decisions made in the short term. We exist as long term consequences, and we remind all-allies, enemies, and neutrals-that there is such a thing as long term consequences that might exist to effect them.

“I think that the thing that I hate the most about our existence is that our ponies love the fact that long term consequences exist, and the thing that I love is that griffins hate that our existence proves that long term consequences exist.”

-From The Secret Diaries Of Princess Celestia

Trope A Day-Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness

Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness-If you’re doing anything in either the Day or Night Courts of Equestria, for the love of Mother Faust, don’t do this.

Princess Celestia is infamous for listening to someone try this on her, and having her summarize the entire exchange in less than a paragraph. For the occasional amusement, Princess Celestia has occasionally reduced whole massive speeches designed to try and conceal what the speaker has done to about 140 characters or less.

(Yes, Princess Celestia has literally reduced huge speeches to tweets.)

In the Night Court, Princess Luna has been known to demand that the speaker come to the point and do so immediately.  Or, she will start to get sarcastic at them.  Or threaten to get ironic.

(Rumors to the contrary, she hasn’t had anybody executed for trying to spin bullshit into brown silk.)

With Enough Printer Paper…

The laser jet printers-ten of them so far-hadn’t stopped whirring the moment she brought the first USB stick back.

Sunset Shimmer…no, Princess Sunset Shimmer looked at the room near the Mirror of Worlds that Princess Celestia and Princess Cadence had set up.  From floor to ceiling was piles of text books, reference works, rolls of blueprints, and thousands upon thousands of USB drives that she had made recordings of, well, everything from Earth.  Ponies came from the printers and took another pile of printed notes to be bound, organized, and indexed.

“And, they don’t know how to use magic?”  Princess Celestia asked.

“The other Twilight Sparkle is trying,” Princess Sunset Shimmer said, twitching her new wings in frustration.  These had appeared the first time she had come back through the Mirror to Equestria.  “She’s got some theories, but she doesn’t want to make it public because…”

“I don’t think humans are that irresponsible,” Princess Cadence interrupted.  “They seem to be a decent species, for omnivores that don’t have magic.”

“She doesn’t want to take that risk,” Princess Sunset Shimmer replied.  “And, to be honest, I can’t blame her.  I was human for the last seven years and humans have such a range in comparison to ponies that it’s terrifying.  Greater range for nobility-and a greater range for atrocities.  I’ve read in their histories things that would make King Sombra vomit to consider doing.  And, he practiced blood magic.”

“So, what are your plans for the next time you go back?”  Princess Celestia asked, curiously.

“Same as before,” Princess Sunset Shimmer nodded at the piles of paper that grew, coming out of the printer.  “Bring diamonds to Earth and sell them, use the money to get more reference materials.  We really need to bring more ponies into this,” she noted.  “Dreamers, innovators, and ponies that can think.  Just the improvement to steam engines and the idea of organized agriculture alone is going to change the face of Equestria.”

“And, I want you think ahead,” Princess Celestia noted.  “On both sides of the Mirror.  We can bring innovations that we’ve created here, and make their world better.  And, as the technology improves there, we can make use of that ourselves.”

Princess Sunset Shimmer thought about this for a moment.  “A new court for Equestria?”

“I’m thinking of something larger,” Princess Celestia replied, her eyes thoughtful.  “Twilight Sparkle’s newest student might Ascend soon, and I am tired of some of the deference that alicorns get just because of what we are.  I’m going to create a whole new branch of government.  I’m calling them ‘Ministries’, and the first three are going to be formed on the backs of three alicorns.  The first is the Ministry of Love, and we’re going to help ponies to find what they want and what they love, and help them to be happy.”

“Auntie,” Princess Cadence started to object, “I’m way too busy trying to bring the Crystal Kingdom into the current century, let alone take on another task like this.”

“I expect your job to be more managerial than ‘hooves on’,” Princess Celestia interrupted gently.  “By providing the Ministries with alicorn leadership, I think it’ll cut through a lot of the deference and conservatism that our little ponies have.  The second Ministry is going to be the Ministry of Magic, and I’m giving that one to Twilight Sparkle.  She’ll find new ways to use magic, and if she can cooperate with the other Twilight Sparkle on the other side of the mirror, we can create greater wonders.

“And, finally,” Princess Celestia said, turning to face Princess Sunset Shimmer.  “The third Ministry that I’m going to create is the Ministry of Innovation.  You’re going to find the dreamers, the innovators, and the ponies that can think; and show them everything here, in one form or another.  We’re going to avoid the worst parts of the Industrial Revolution here on Equestria and bring ourselves closer to the stars.”

Princess Sunset Shimmer stood stock still, eyes wide open for a moment.  “That’s…a major task.”

“Nothing less for one of my greatest students,” Princess Celestia replied.

The printers continued to hum, spitting out page after page.

Trope A Day-Pony Of Mass Destruction

Pony Of Mass Destruction-Short version, do not piss off an alicorn.  Don’t make them angry enough that they want to break out the entire toybox of means they can deal with threats.  The weakest and youngest of all alicorns, Prince Lucifer Morningstar, once picked off battleships from the surface of the planet he was on.  Without a magical amplifier, killing each ship with single shots.  He was tired when he was done, but that was about eight battleships later.

What one of the older alicorns could do almost beggars the imagination.  In theory, Princess Celestia could turn Equestria’s sun into a Lensman-scale sunbeam.  Princess Luna could drive you mad in your nightmares that would never end, even if you were wide awake.  Princess Cadence, the weakest of the four eldest ponies, could destroy every feeling of love and loyalty you ever had (and this is a state secret so high even other alicorns don’t know about this).  And, Princess Twilight Sparkle?  She’s the head of the Ministry of Magic, one of the three ponies in charge of the Ministry of Ghosts, and has access to all the toys.

(Also, they have control, as much as sheer power.  Any “Fall of Equestra”-type situation would end in this universe by the simple fact that Celestia could and would teleport instantly a pinprick sized piece of stellar plasma into the heads of every invading Caribou.  Tiny pin-prick sized piece, just enough to reduce their heads to an instant cloud of floating red mist…)